the wedding that never was….
so there i was, a nervous wreck. the church was alsmot full, my parents were there smiling. i thought i saw a tear in mon’s eye. maybe it was my eye instead. nevermind. damn those flowers! should have stuck to plastic. i TOLD them i had a pollen allergy, but does anyone listen? no…
"nervous?"
"ya…he he…erm…is she here yet?" i asked dad for the tenth time. he pulled me aside and pulled out a small bottle of gin from his jacket.
"here…take some…you’ll be fine, boy…this is your big day.."
"thanks dad…" i was grinning like a fool now. i actually had enough alcohol the night before. actually, i can’t even remember what happened the night before. except that, well, my best friend was kinda acting all weird and stuff. anyway, here goes….*chug,chug,chug…aahh*. that was good gin! dad’s great. hope mum didn’t see that. well, well..here comes the bride.
"….here we are gathered today, to witness the solemn matrimony between.."
"yeah, pretty solemn.."
"shh.." my best friend nudged me to shut up. was i that loud? i mean, really?? you know what, i’m gonna miss him. all those times we used to hang out and do nothing but smoke weed and drain the rum bottles. ok, so we didn’t really smoke weed. and no, we’re not really into rum. i’m gonna miss him. she doesn’t really like him anyway. heck, i don’t even like her that much. wait, a sec!! why am i here ANYWAYS??
"…in good times and in bad….till death do you part?"
"i do"
"..and do you take this woman.."
"i..i don’t think so..!" whoa, that felt good! think i’ll say that again. "i…don’t think so.." wow! it’s like getting a grand piano off your chest isn’t it? what? what are YOU staring at?
"…honey…what…"
"look, this wasn’t such a good idea ok..i mean..yeah, you look nice…well, since we’ve past Stage One…your DRESS looks nice..if only it was on someone else.."
"…WHAT? …i….you…" ouch! she hit me! the bitch hit me!! well, since Stage Two is done as well let’s just move on with the wedding.
"kiss the bride right? ok, Padre…i’ll kiss the damn…." damn, his cologne is so…
"whoa, man….i never…well…i thought you would have forgotten about last night.."
"forgotten? man, you KNOW it wasn’t the booze. we weren’t even drunk at all…i love you man….honest to god…to everyone here in this church…..I LOVE THIS MAN…more than ANYTHING in this world" ok, one more kiss buddy.
ok. so now mum and dad aren’t really talking to me. neither is what’s-her-name. i moved in with him. we’re really happy now. i don’t really care. except that i get weird looks from people once in a while. i mean who doesn’t? people love staring at couples when they hold hands in public. he doesn’t mind. as long as he loves me i’m ok with that.
the following was dedicated to all those who never made it to the altar, but are now happy with their soulmates…eventhough they turned out to be the least expected people!
